When People Don't Understand

One of the hardest parts of living with mental health struggles isn't always the struggle itself.

Sometimes it's trying to explain it to someone who doesn't understand.

You can find the words.

You can explain what you're feeling.

You can tell them why something affects you the way it does.

And still, they don't get it.

Sometimes you can see it in their expression.

The confusion.

The disbelief.

The assumption that you're exaggerating.

And sometimes the hardest part is realizing that no matter how many times you explain, they may never truly understand.

You Can't Always Explain What You Feel

Mental health isn't always logical.

You can know something shouldn't bother you and still have it bother you.

You can know you're safe and still feel afraid.

You can know someone loves you and still struggle to trust it.

You can want to get out of bed and still feel like you can't.

You can want to stop thinking about something and find that your mind won't let you.

From the outside, these things can be difficult to understand.

Someone may look at you and think:

"Just let it go."

"Why are you still thinking about that?"

"You need to move on."

"Things aren't that bad."

But if it were that simple, people wouldn't struggle the way they do.

Sometimes People Think You're Choosing It

One of the most painful misunderstandings is the belief that you're choosing to struggle.

That you're being negative.

That you're seeking attention.

That you're not trying hard enough.

That you could simply decide to feel differently.

But mental health doesn't work like a light switch.

You can't always turn it off because someone tells you to.

And sometimes knowing that doesn't make the struggle easier—it simply makes you feel more alone.

I've Experienced Being Misunderstood

There have been times in my life when I've tried to explain what I was experiencing and felt like the people around me didn't fully understand.

Sometimes they questioned why I felt the way I did.

Sometimes they didn't seem to realize how deeply something had affected me.

And when the people closest to you don't understand, it can make you question yourself.

Maybe I'm overreacting.

Maybe this really isn't that bad.

Maybe something is wrong with me because other people don't feel this way.

That kind of self-doubt can become another burden on top of the original struggle.

Understanding Isn't Always Possible

I've learned that not everyone is going to understand my experiences.

That doesn't necessarily mean they don't care.

Some people simply haven't lived through the things I've lived through.

They don't know what it feels like inside my head.

They don't know what certain experiences have taken from me.

They don't know what it has taken to get where I am today.

And I can't expect someone to completely understand an experience they've never had.

What I can hope for is compassion.

I Don't Need Everyone to Understand Me

This has been an important realization for me.

I don't need everyone to understand my story.

I don't need everyone to agree with how I feel.

I don't need everyone to understand why something affects me.

I need the people who matter to respect that my experience is real.

There is a difference between understanding someone and believing them.

You don't have to completely understand another person's pain to believe that they're hurting.

My Daughter Doesn't Have to Understand Everything

As a mother, I've had to learn this from another perspective too.

My daughter doesn't have to understand everything I've experienced.

She hasn't lived my life.

She doesn't carry my history.

She doesn't know what it was like to be me at different points in my life.

And that's okay.

I don't want her to feel responsible for understanding every part of me.

I simply want her to know that if I tell her something hurts, it is okay for her to believe me.

And I want to give her that same respect.

If she tells me something hurts, I don't want to dismiss it simply because I don't understand it.

Being Heard Can Matter More Than Being Understood

Sometimes we don't need someone to have the perfect response.

We need someone to listen.

We need someone to say:

"I don't completely understand, but I believe you."

"I may not feel the same way, but I can see that this is hurting you."

"What can I do to support you?"

Those words can make an enormous difference.

Because when you're already questioning yourself, having someone validate your experience can remind you that you're not imagining it.

I Don't Have to Prove My Pain

I've spent too much time feeling like I needed to prove that what I was experiencing was real.

I don't anymore.

I know what I've lived through.

I know what has affected me.

I know what it has taken to heal.

Someone else's inability to understand doesn't erase my experience.

Their opinion doesn't rewrite my past.

And their disbelief doesn't make my feelings less real.

Sometimes People Understand Later

There have also been times when people didn't understand something immediately.

Sometimes understanding comes with time.

Sometimes people need to learn.

Sometimes they need to see how deeply something affects you before they realize what you've been trying to explain.

That can be frustrating.

But I've learned that I can't force someone to understand.

I can only be honest about my experience.

What they choose to do with that information is up to them.

I Am Learning to Stop Taking It Personally

When someone doesn't understand, my first instinct can be to wonder what I'm doing wrong.

Why can't I explain this better?

Why don't they get it?

But I've learned that sometimes the problem isn't my explanation.

Sometimes they simply don't have the frame of reference to understand.

That doesn't mean I need to keep exhausting myself trying to convince them.

I can save that energy for healing.

I Want to Be Someone Who Listens

My own experiences have taught me something important about how I want to treat other people.

I don't want to automatically dismiss someone because their experience is different from mine.

I don't want to tell someone they're overreacting simply because I would react differently.

I don't want to assume I know what someone is feeling.

I want to listen.

I want to ask questions.

I want to believe people when they tell me they're hurting.

Because I know what it feels like when nobody seems to understand.

And I know how much it can mean when someone finally says:

"I hear you."

Some People May Never Understand

I've had to accept that.

There may always be people who don't understand my mental health struggles.

There may always be people who think I should have handled things differently.

There may always be people who look at my story from the outside and wonder why I couldn't simply move forward.

But they weren't there for every chapter.

They weren't inside my mind.

They didn't carry what I carried.

They don't get to decide what my experiences meant to me.

I Know My Story

I know what I've survived.

I know what has hurt me.

I know the battles nobody else saw.

I know how many times I've had to pick myself back up.

And I know that healing doesn't require everyone else to understand.

Sometimes healing means finally believing yourself.

Believing that what you experienced mattered.

Believing that your feelings are valid.

Believing that you deserve support.

And refusing to let someone else's lack of understanding make you question your own reality.

**I don't need everyone to understand my story.

I just need to remember that it is mine.

I lived it.

I survived it.

And I am still writing what comes next.**